uugh

a lot of people treat me like an afterthought ill be honest. i feel people think that i can accept and move on from a blatant lie right to my face but like im getting sick and tired of it.

i was kind of freaking the fuck out in video production earlier. thought i could edit and i sat down and immediately got crazy overwhelmed and i was hyperventilating and shit. CAN MY TEACHER JUST GIVE ME A ZERO!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!! i resorted to sneaking a pill and making myself dizzy just to keep myself away from editing for the rest of the class.

mcr dropped a deluxe edition of danger days on vinyl and like i almost freaked out. like twenty messages to my mom begging for it later and heh..consider it preordered. its approaching.

my irl said that if i ever need a ride that i should ask her. but not today apparently. like she'll drive others around but not me i guess. my hot topic order arrived today and i have seven days to get it and since they gave me a time limit that means i need it asap or ill actually kill myself IM TIME SENSITIVE IM ANXIOUSDD.and i messaged her and asked if she could take me to the mall. Ohh my car is dirty Oohh im cleaning my room Oohhh i dont have gas money sorry ooh man. Okay so then why did..you..??drive around with my brother?????you dont have gas money for something you promised to take me to get but you have gas money to go to fucking wawa and buy shit with my brother. right. this shit has happened a million times in honestly getting tired of it. stop walking in my room bud im like tempted to just Drop you if not for the occasional oxy you give me and the dogs at your house. literally whatever. when i get my permit i can finally drive around my little 2004 celica. it calls my name